A dad joke from our Presidents office (Di H)
 
"My top three assumptions when the doorbell rings:
1. murderer
2. the police telling me everyone is dead
3. the book I ordered about positive thinking:
 
 
Some observations provided by Len Cairns:
 
      
     
 
 
Some reflections from Ross Maxfield:

1. I STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT.

2. MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN.

3. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.

4. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.

5. IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT?

6. IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER.

7. SOME DAYS, YOU'RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE HYDRANT.

8. I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM.

9. KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.

10. ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS.

11. IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE.

12. THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM.

13. IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE'D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES.

14. WHEN I'M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS.

15. IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES . . . THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.

16. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH.

17. THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. . . I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I'M "HERE AFTER".

18. FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.

19. IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED.

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???...OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

 
Some kind words found by Peter Kingsbury
 
"The gift is when we find friends
Who love us for us
They dont put up with us
They dont try to change us
they dont roll their eyes behind our backs
They just simply enjoy who we are?    .
 
(credited to Jess Johnston)